Tag Archives: Meet her anxiety low self esteem

Should I meet her?

So I’ve been communicating with a woman on Plenty of Fish and she wants to meet me for coffee. The thing is I’ve never met anyone Face to Face without first video chatting. I normally use Skype or Google Talk but she told me she doesn’t have a camera for her computer and wouldn’t know how to work it if she did. Without even thinking I asked if she would like to meet me for a cup of coffee at a Starbucks nearby. She said Yes. Yikes! What did I get myself into?

Suppose I meet her and she’s ugly as sin? Suppose she’s not the age she claims she is and lied about it? What if … What if … Blah Blah Blah. The more I think about it the more anxious I get. Should I call it off? Does her looks and age really matter? We have so much in common I feel like we’ve known each other for years. Yet she really is a stranger to me. What if she’s drop dead gorgeous? I know I’m no catch. Maybe she’ll just laugh and leave me with the bill. I’m having an anxiety attack just thinking about it. Look everyone in Starbucks is laughing at me. Maybe I’ll just not show up at all. Wait…Maybe She won’t show up! Oh man this is bad.

These are the things that go through my BB Brain when I think about meeting a woman Face to Face . I’ve been divorced and single for over 15 years. I’d really like to meet someone but my anxiety disorder can really be paralyzing at times. How will I ever meet someone if I’m afraid to take a chance? I’d love to meet that special woman but I’m my own worst enemy.

Back in the day I had no trouble meeting girls. It was easy. All I had to do was go out to one of the many bars on Long Island. I would bye the girl a drink and ask her she if she would like to dance. 3 or 4 drinks later we were in the backseat of my Chevy Nova. This idea of meeting for coffee is completely foreign to me! I mean what do I say after “Hi, how are you? How do you like your coffee?” Then what? With my luck she’ll tell me she doesn’t drink coffee. Holy Crap! Why are we in Starbucks?

The problem is I gave up “bar hopping” years ago. I gave up the booze too. It’s easy to chit chat once I’ve have a few drinks. After a few more I become John Travolta on the dance floor. “You can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man..no time to talk”Staying Alive. Oh Yea baby! Let’s do the “Bump”. Am I giving away my age yet?

Anyway I’d really like to hear a females perspective on this. If I ask a man he’d just say “Just talk to her that’s all” or “You just need an escape plan”. I love it when the advice is “You can meet women at the grocery store ya know”. How does that work?? “Excuse me but that’s a nice steak your looking at. Are you going to cook it or is someone else?” How lame does that sound? Or ” I see you picked out some very nice eggs. How do you like your eggs sunny side up or scrambled?”. Oh yea, that’ll get her attention.

So the jury is still out on meeting this woman for coffee. Should I meet her or not?Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated?